i called and You answered!

                                          Dear God,

so, last night was def a rough one! i did a lot of crying and praying...i was listening to music during all of this when the song below came on...i couldnt believe how exactly it mirrored what is going on with me!

The Valley by: Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors

[incredible band. one of my new favorites. went to see their concert with Dave Barnes in New Orleans last wk, it was phenomenal!]

lyrics:

I don't want to face this valley. I don't want to walk alone.

You say that you'll leave to find me,
Well I am begging you now to come.
Don't think I could face the morning. A heaviness is on my chest.
You say that you'll lift this burden,
Well I am begging you to bring me rest.

So come and find me in the darkest night of my soul.
In the shadow of the valley I am dying
for you to make me whole.
For you to make me whole.

I can't keep myself from sinking. From drowning down in all this shame.
My throat is worn out from calling for help.
And I am praying you'll remember my name.
I know I can't face this battle. Been surrounded on every side.
You say that you will deliver me.
Well I am praying you'll restore my life.

Answer me out of the goodness of your love.
In your mercy turn and lead.
I know it's you that I've been running from,
But I'm seeing it's you I need, need,
You're all I need.

So come and find me in the darkest night of my soul.
In the shadow of the valley I am dying

for you to make me whole.
For you to make me whole.

For you to make me whole.

after i listened to the song i picked up the book I'm currently reading, "Traveling Light" by Max Lucado. the first thing i read is this: Psalm 23:4 Though I walk through the valley [hello!!! just like the song] of the shadow of death i will fear no evil, because You are WITH ME." read a little more "you know what God wants? He wants you to face your sorrow. Denial and dismissal are not a part of God's grief therapy." and a little more "God will lead you through, not around, the valley of the shadow of death. And, by the way, aren't you glad it's just a shadow?"

                                                                         amen. my soul was so comforted. 

even so, it was a rough night, as well as tough day...I held onto the promise that You are with me and that relief would come soon.

tonight i felt God comfort and pursue me again. 

tonight was "Chick Night" at Healing Place Church. so fun! before chick night, i met up with a new friend, Karina, and we got hot chocolate and got to know each other a little bit better.  the first time i met her i def felt an instant connection with her, and tonight was a testament to that. i really enjoyed our time together talking about life, dreams, God, ministry, heartbreak, hard times, our pasts, hopes for the future...etc. After hot chocolate and great convo we went to the church! two of my friends, molly and maggie, also joined us which was a wonderful surprise. the whole night was such a sweet surprise, i didnt know the details of what it was all going to be about and it ended up being so perfect. God really pursued me through every little thing. chick night consisted of outdoor ice skating (they rented a portable ice rink, pretty sweet), christmas shopping (tons of tables of the coolest stuff all throughout the church), TONS of girls and women everywhere, and most importantly a message just for us girls from DeLynn, the head pastors beautiful wife. the focus of her message was for us to cling to the hope and peace we have in Christ. we dont have to search for it...since we are His children, saved by His grace, His hope and His peace and readily available to us. obviously i know this, but tonight i needed to hear it again. she shared a couple of verses on both hope and peace that really spoke to me and that ive been going back to all night.

hope:

Psalm 39:7

Jeremiah 17:7

Romans 15:13 

Lamentations 3:24

Jeremiah 29:11 

peace:
Numbers 26:6
1 Corinthians 14:33 *fav* "For God is not a God of confusion but of peace."
John 14:27
2 Thessalonians 3:16
Psalm 29:11
Isaiah 26:3












another thing DeLynn said when we bowed our head to pray was something like this "Focus on just Him right now, don't think about your mom, your best friend, your b/f, husband...let this time be for just you and Jesus...b/c one day that's ALL it's going to be" again, i know this, but right in that moment, it was EXACTLY what i needed to be reminded of. Thank you!
afterwards me, molly, maggie and karina went to eat...oh how fun that was!!!  truth, friendship & laughs <3 
God, You are crazy cool....to say the least. 
Thanks for speaking to me in various ways over the last 24 hours. I'm still hurting, still don't have the answers, but i do have hope in You. and i KNOW You hear me and i know You care. Thanks for surrounding me with people who love me so much and who have been praying for me! i'm so encouraged and amazed at the love and blessings you have lavished upon me in my time of need. I know I'm still in the valley, but i know you're taking me THROUGH it and not around it for a reason. you want to heal me! you want me to trust you. i know you're with me! i'm so thankful the "shadow of the valley of death" is just a shadow and that i have eternal life in you. no matter what i have to go through on this earth i know it's just a shadow compared to eternity with you. 
God, I don't know who reads my blog, (prolly no one besides my roomie, mom and a couple of close friends hehe) BUT God the cry of my heart is that everything i do will point others to You. i just want to be a light...even though im a mess (well, we all are) i pray that through this blog you would speak to someone. i pray you would use my raw communication with you through this blog to lead others to you and only to you....this purpose of this blog is not for my glory. only yours. if anyone else is out there and hurting or confused or begging to hear for you God, i pray this would reach them and encourage them. 
off to bed, long day tomorrow. cant wait to see what you have planned. open my eyes & heart tomorrow to ALL that you have for me. and please keep reminding me it's not all about me...i pray that tomorrow ill get to share with someone about how you're pursuing me.
i love you. 
p.s. please give my mom restful sleep tonight. and look after all those i love so much!
gnight
                                                         i hope in You and You alone, 
                                                                tyler kristian gordy