water. a necessity for LIFE.

dear God,

i know it's been a while since i wrote via blog...some periods of life are just too private for the whole wide world to see!

so, today im doing a lot of thinking, praying, hoping, praising, feeling...Popi (my grandfather) has been in the hospital for 4 days. started off in the emergency room, moved to icu, then critical care, had emergency surgery & is now unconscious & hooked to a breathing machine...it has been really really hard seeing him suffer so much. You have used this to remind me of many things: You are sovereign, life is short&precious, You are eternal, family is important, friends are such a blessing, prayers are powerful, You bring hope, comfort, strength& rest to those who call upon you...You are all that ultimately matters. i am so thankful You saved me& made me Yours. i am so thankful I have these truths to hold on to...i am so thankful my Popi is also Yours&is comforted by You right now. i know Youre holding Him& have a plan. whatever that means for him in the coming days, wks, months, yrs-life or death, sickness or health-i will praise You.
both Friday & Saturday i watched him suffer i felt so helpless, just stood there praying and kinda looking at the rest of my family standing around. wondering what was going through their heads. wondering who has the hope of Christ in their hearts & who doesn't...it's not always an easy thing to talk about, even with family...

one thing that Popi keep asking for when he was awake was water. he was so thirsty. the best we could offer him was a wet sponged dabbed on his lips...that was heartbreaking...today as i stood in my kitchen making a sandwich for lunch i was reminded of how many people are in need of water in this world...

now my first thought was the literal, physical meaning of this...that there are people all over the world who don't have the basic life necessities....like WATER. food. shelter. clothing. & love. love is essential to life. this makes me angry...and makes me sad and makes me frustrated....but does it move me enough to change it? why is it still happening? why don't we ALL do more to help!? my stomach is turning&my hands are shaking a little bit as i write this. sometimes i really do have the following though, as pathetic&selfish as it is, "im only in college, i dont have any extra money, in a few years whenever i have more money, have more influence, (fill in the blank) ---this is a lie from Satan & if i'm honest a reflection of my laziness, selfishness, etc.... yeah. sickening. so, God, plz forgive me for my in-action & give me strength & conviction to (thru Your power) do something abt it. as Josh said last night at Refuge, "there won't be suffering, orphans, etc in Heaven so why are we ok with that happening on Earth? as the church, Christians, let's bring Heaven to Earth" ----(paraphrased by me)

the next thought i had about how everyone is in need of water was a spiritual one........b/c EVERYONE rich or poor, hungry or well-fed, employed or not, in the States, China, Africa, Brazil....EVERYONE needs Jesus aka...LIVING WATER. as my grandfather was asking for water....so were the souls of millions of people all over the world, even in that hospital room. whether they know it or not, everyone needs Jesus...my grandmother needs Jesus, she was created by Him & for Him & she NEEDS Him...just as desperately as my grandfather needed to have some water.
i have Jesus yet i hesitate to share Him with others sometimes, there are certain situations when it's just easier & more comfortable not to. striking thought: it wouldve been easier for Jesus not to die on that tree...but THANK YOU GOD that He didn't choose the easy & more comfortable way out but obeyed You...even to death...the pain, brutal & humiliating death on a tree. im overwhelmed by the love you showed the world through Your beautiful sacrifice....
everyone is going somewhere...maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually EVERYONE is going SOMEWHERE......one of two places....Lord i know you wanna use me to help point some of those lost souls back to You...open my eyes&speak through me.

Revelation 21:1-8
"Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children. But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.” 

ok, that's all for now.

love you!

i know youre watching over my Popi & family, and i am thankful  

xoxo, 

Ty